Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Never Gets Old

J: I forgot my hearing aids.
C: What?
rim shot
C: Never gets old.

C: Can you feed the dogs?
J: No, they must be around in the back yard.
C: Do you have your hearing aids in?
J: No, why?
distant rim shot
C: Never gets old.

J: I gotta go get my hearing aids.
C: What?
yet another rim shot
C: Never gets old.

J: Uh oh.
C: What's the matter.
J: My hearing aid battery in my left ear just died.
C: What?
you guessed it
C: Never gets old.

Johnnie has had hearing aids for almost two years and we must go through variations of these conversations at least five times a day. His hearing aids aren't like the old style flesh colored ones that blocked the entire ear opening and squeal loudly when you hug him. These are blue-tooth enabled little jobbies that perch almost invisibly behind his ears with clear tubes that hold little domes inside his ear canal. Since he's a tech-weinie kind of guy, we knew the ones with all the buttons and custom settings would be fine for him. He was going to mess and fiddle around with them anyway so he might as well have the technology working for him.

But I tease him especially when they're not in. Usually I can tell almost immediately since he just won't hear me when I'm talking. It's like the old joke about the two old guys.

Guy 1: What time is it?
Guy 2: Two thirty.
Guy 1: Yeah, I could go for a cold one too.

It just never gets old.


jill said...

too bad my dad wont get them. he says the oddest crap because he can't hear what you're saying to him. I'm SO sick of having to yell. and he has to cock his head at an odd angle in order to hear people, it looks like he's trying to raise the table up with his forehead or something through telekinesis. sigh.

Employee No. 3699 said...

My dad refuses to get them also. It makes conversation difficult at times, especially if I'm talking to him on the phone.

Katie's Uncle Rick said...

Have you heard this one?
You will forget it
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.

After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, "Where are you going?"

He replies, "To the kitchen."

She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

He replies, "Sure."

She then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

He says, "No, I can remember that."

She then says, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that."

He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She replies, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."