I wish...

there was a search function for houses and things like there is for the Web. For example, I've misplaced two things in the past few months and I can't find them anywhere. Despite the enormous amount of stuff that we have tucked away in closets, the basement and in the loft above the garage, I pretty much know where to find things when we go looking for them. And I know they'll all turn up eventually, it's always just a question of when.

Over the past week, I've been looking high and low for two things: (a) a little plastic bag that contains four or five prescription pills that help the inflammation in my plantar fasciitis (seriously, it has two iis together, I Googled it) and arthritic thumbs and (b) a box containing a year's worth of those aromatic stick things and little bottles of liquid to put the sticks in. The box is probably about 12 inches by 15 inches by 2 inches deep. I can't find either one.

If there was a house/thing search function, I could sit down, enter: plastic packet with Etodolac pills, press Enter and voila! A picture of their location would appear or a siren would sound or maybe one of the dogs would go and point at its location. Or, I could enter: aromatic stick things (since I can't seem to remember or come up with the proper name) and maybe the closet door or drawer they're secreted behind would glow or pop open or something. Or one of the dogs could go over and sniff and scratch at it while looking at me significantly and wagging.

So far, that's not happening.

Several years ago we were looking for a pair of cross country ski boots that had been lost and gone for quite a while. We eventually found them, packed in with an old ice cream maker. Apparently when we moved from one house to another in Minnesota (we're talking 1987 now), we took two strange basement-dwelling things (ice cream maker and ski boots) and packed them together, completely guaranteeing that we'd never find the one we wanted in the proper season. Who looks for ski boots when it's ice cream making season? And conversely, who looks for the ice cream maker when you're searching for your cross country ski boots in the middle of January? So we tossed them both out.

I know we'll find the pills and the aromatic thingie sooner or later. In the meantime, I've called the podiatrist for another prescription for the pills and I can live without the aromatic thingie but it would be fun to open it up and use some of the scents.

If you hear of a house/thing search function, I'd appreciate knowing about it. Or better still, maybe I can invent it!