Monday, October 18, 2010
Poor Uncle Sam
We looked at him a few weeks ago and discovered that his arm had crumbled. That's it lying on the driveway just in front of his left foot. At that point, I unceremoniously relieved Uncle Sam of his American flag and put him down at the curb for trash pickup. I like Uncle Sam but you can tell even in the picture that his construction is, um, a bit on the shoddy side.It looks like paper mache but maybe just a little more sturdy. Each time we touch it, another piece falls off.
Emily and I were outside the following day decorating the little tree in our mail box post for Halloween. She spotted Uncle Sam lying expressionlessly in the gutter and retrieved him, cradling him as though he was her very most favorite doll baby. She was very upset that Uncle Sam was literally being kicked to the curb. Erin calls her Princess Tenderheart and it is so very very true. So I relented (I'm such a creampuff with these kids) and we took him into the garage to see if Grandpa could fix him.
In showing him to Grandpa, it turns out that Johnnie wanted to keep Uncle Sam too and see if he could fix him. Yeah, we need another project like this, right?
Days or possibly weeks pass......
We were leaving for breakfast one Sunday morning and the granddaughters were in the car. Grandpa retrieved the Sunday paper and flung it from the driveway into the garage. It ricocheted off the recycling bin and scored a direct hit on Uncle Sam. Sam tumbled off the step in one direction and his head went another.
I doubt there's any way to fix Uncle Sam. So far he's just languishing in the garage in three pieces, tucked away next to the recycling bins. I'm hoping that Emily and Grandpa will soon forget about Uncle Sam and I can slip him into the trash without anyone noticing.
You have ably represented your country and displayed our patriotism for many summers, good and faithful servant. Now go rest in the landfill. Your duties are completed. At ease, sir.