The national retailers and I have decided that your season is in our way so we're relegating you to just one day, the last Thursday in November and we're taking over from November 1st until Christmas Day.
I'm sure you won't mind and besides, you don't have any special music and just a few gourds and a lame turkey as symbols. In comparison, I have elves, Christmas trees, my very own music, snow and lots of sparkly lights that everybody loves.
The retailers need my season to make their profits for the year and, after looking at the numbers, we decided we'd just start Christmas early in November and just roll right over you this year.
Hope you don't mind.