Summertime Pleasures #1

A. This summer I've made a big effort to hang laundry outside to dry rather than using the dryer. Yeah, it's more work but the sensory effects of freshly laundered, and in some cases bleached, clothes then hung outside to drive are swoon-inducing. I love to bury my nose in bleached, line-dried t-shirts or towels and just inhale the freshness. The scratchiness of bath and hand towels and the feel of line-dried sheets when we put them on the bed is heavenly as well. Yum! So the economic benefits of not running the dryer are only second in my mind to the tactile and aromatic advantages that can only be obtained with laundry that's hung out to dry. If they could only bottle that scent accurately, I'd buy a ton of it to get through the winter months. As a side benefit, if I do use the dryer, I keep the lint and put it into the composter along with vegetable and fruit scraps and lawn/leaves. Don't I sound all Mother Earth and everything? Really not doing it for that reason - just enjoy the ultimate benefits.

B. While we escape into air conditioning in the house (we are indeed whimps) whenever the humidity gets too oppressive, leaving the windows open at night, particularly when it's raining is heavenly.   The sounds are fantastic and it's wonderful to wake up to birds singing. A couple weeks ago, we went to bed around midnight and as we were climbing into bed, we heard the most unearthly noise from the ravine that borders our lot on one side and across the back. It continued for quite a while and Johnnie was looking out the window toward the ravine to try to place the sounds. It wasn't a bird, a cat in heat or a dog.

We ultimately decided that it was foxes. We could pinpoint where the sounds were coming from and it sounded as though there were at least three of them in different parts of the ravine and across the street. At one point, Johnnie saw one of them, sort of silverish-gray, streaking along the street itself under the streetlights. Whether they were hunting or trying to get the pack organized in one area, we haven't any idea. The next day, Johnnie found fox sounds on the Web and we confirmed that it must have been foxes calling to each other. Awesome. We regularly see deer, raccoons and wild turkeys but sighting any of the resident foxes is still rather unusual. Since we live in a well populated suburb, we count ourselves lucky to have such a front row seat to wildlife in their (more or less) natural habitat.

C. Walking in comfort for exercise. Bridget and I went walking this morning and saw three pileated woodpeckers -- the Woody Woodpecker kind. We were hoping that it was two males courting a female but they flew off before indulging us with a demonstration of their mating and courting behavior. No snow to worry about, no extra layers to encumber us. Sure we sweat but it's a great feeling to get out and walk in minimum layers and be comfortable.

There could be more so I'll just leave the list open ended. What are your summertime pleasures?

Progress

To say the least, my last post was a bit bleak and despairing. Since then, we've effectively stopped drinking. We had a glass of wine at our anniversary dinner and another at a party last Friday night but other than that, our drinks of choice are water, lemonade, coffee and iced tea. Most of the time I don't have any longing for wine. And the memories of how I felt almost a month ago are still vividly with me. I've stopped beating myself up constantly but my determination to make this work -- the wine drinking and weight loss -- is as strong as ever.

In that time, I've lost 10 pounds and Johnnie has taken off about 15. The first 10 and 15 of about 40 for both of us. Awesome. We've been reading more, going for some bike rides, going to bed late then sleeping in and generally just relaxing. It feels great.

I'm at peace and that feels wonderful.

I can't do this any more

Warning: brutal honesty, self assessment and 

unblinking personal confession ahead. 

Read at your own risk.

I think I became a non-drinker today. Or, at the most, I became an eventual minimal drinker. Here's why.

My dad was an alcoholic who died at 62 due to physical complications from cirrhosis. I've known since I was a teen (in the midst of his alcoholism) that I have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism; therefore, I've always been wary and concerned about it. When I was married to my first husband, I didn't drink hardly at all. He didn't drink at all and I only drank when we were together with one couple. But even then, I'd drink beyond what I should.That's a pattern that I can trace throughout my 20s, 30s, 40s and right up to today.

In the past 15 years, John's and my drinking has ramped up. We discovered wine about 10 years ago and mostly abandoned drinking anything else in favor of wine. We used to drink on weekends, then every night. We seem powerless to stop the escalation. Moderation is not a common word to me, at least not in practice.

Thinking back, I've had many occasions where my overdrinking has been an issue. At our daughter Holly's wedding, I caused a scene. When Erin and Mike were making plans for their wedding, they originally didn't want to have alcohol served and it was due to my scene at Holly's wedding. I promised not to drink at their reception so we could allow our guests to have beer and wine. We had another incident at a Fourth of July party several years ago where Johnnie and I both drank so much that we ended up sleeping fully dressed on the floor of our bedroom next to Daisy, our dog. We still don't remember how we ended up there.

First we'd go through a 750 ml bottle, then it progressed to a bottle and a half, then two. More recently we've been drinking boxed wines (there are some decent ones out there if you get past the Almaden and Franzia junk) and downing about one every couple days.

We did an in-depth budget analysis a couple months ago and, in digging into our monthly expenses, I discovered how much we were spending on wine. It was a bunch. 

I've been getting increasingly concerned about my wine consumption for the past few months primarily because of my weight. Over that same 15 year period, I've put on about 40 pounds. Not earth shattering but still depressing and discouraging for me and to me.  I can keep my weight steady (albeit in a range I dislike) these days but taking weight off is virtually impossible.

I've been castigating myself daily for the last several months about my weight and my inability to stick with a healthy eating plan. And for continuing to overconsume wine every night.  To the point of self hate and considering asking my doctor to increase my anti-depressant because I was feeling as thought it wasn't working any more.

Two weeks ago, I read an article on SparkPeople.com that articulated clearly for me the connection between alcohol and weight loss -- or I should say, the lack of weight loss. I'll add the article to the bottom of this post if you're interested in reading it. I woke up two weeks ago Sunday and decided that I wasn't going to drink anything alcoholic until I took off the weight.

I have had not much difficulty staying away from wine for the past two weeks. Of course, both John and I have been sick with strep and para-influenza (the adult version of croup) -- thanks to our granddaughter Lucy -- for the bulk of that time so I've felt like crap. A couple times wine sounded good but we didn't have any open and I settled for cookies instead. Still not a great choice but better for me in the long run.

This past week I went to see a nutritionist/weight loss counselor I've worked with successfully in the past. Part of my weight loss desperation theory is that I need the accountability and one-on-one counseling to focus on my weight loss. It's not cheap but it appears to be what I need to do. While I haven't taken off a lot of weight yet, I have had success in dropping about six pounds in the last two weeks. My resolve to eat properly is not sabotaged when I don't drink in the evenings.

So last night, we went to see The Moody Blues with Mike and Jane, longtime friends we see three or four times a year. They are both heavy drinkers but always appear to handle it reasonably well. John's and my first date was at a Moody Blues concert at this same outdoor venue 19 years ago so being there is always a sentimental occasion for us.  John surprised me when we were getting ready to go to the concert by suggesting we take a small thermos of white wine with us to drink in the parking lot as we were tailgating before the concert. So we took the wine and drank two glasses in quick succession before going into the show.

And it happened again. Once we were inside, I suggested getting more wine to drink during the concert and we did. Then Jane (of the couple we were with) couldn't finish her bottle of wine (the vendor puts the contents of the bottle into a large plastic cup) so Johnnie and I had yet another glass to help her finish. We're real shooters like that.

After the concert I drove home and thank God, I was cognizant enough and together enough to (a) not have an accident and (b) drive reasonably and moderately. However, if we had been stopped by the police or encountered a sobriety checkpoint, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have failed the test in spades. We both fully support the "don't drink and drink" philosophy and have almost completely stopped drinking when we're out so we don't put ourselves or anyone else in jeopardy. I sincerely thank God that we weren't stopped last night.

After we got home, rather than going to bed like sane people, we opened the thermos of wine from the concert and finished it. Dopes. I don't remember going upstairs and getting ready for bed. And that's not the first time I've had blank outs (I can't call them black outs because I didn't pass out - I just do not remember anything at all but I remained conscious). 

Today I feel awful. I woke up with a killer headache. So did Johnnie. Truthfully, I think I was still buzzed for at least half of the day. Around 5:30 this evening, I went upstairs and vomited. Little to get rid of but at least my stomach feels better. We were supposed to have our great friends Ken and Bridget over tonight for dinner but I called them half an hour before their arrival and asked to reschedule. To my credit, I told Bridget honestly why. She knows Mike and Jane so she could understand why I I was tempted to overimbibe, although they really don't deserve to be the scapegoats for my own lack of control. Kindly, she suggested that maybe I had a bug. No bug. Too much alcohol but thanks for your kind excuse, Bridgie.

I don't believe I need to go to rehab or join an AA meeting. I've done Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) to understand the process and deal with the aftermath of my dad's drinking. I understand the steps. So I'm counting this public confession as addressing steps 1-8 and 10-12. I am omitting step 9 because I don't believe I have harmed anyone besides Johnnie (to whom I haven't already apologized) and we had a very open and honest discussion about all this an hour ago.

So. Here I am, filled with remorse, self-loathing and embarrassment. Again. Until and if I can get myself under control, I am not drinking. I can't do this any more.

I feel better already.

Here's the article from SparkPeople.com.

Alcohol and Weight Loss
Can You Have Both?
-- By Liz Noelcke, Staff Writer
Alcohol and weight loss are enemies, but an occasional drink can have a place in a healthy lifestyle. In fact, many experts note the health benefits of consuming a single drink per day, including a reduced risk for high blood pressure. If, however, you are exceeding one drink daily, you might be sabotaging your weight loss plans.

Alcohol is metabolized differently than other foods and beverages. Under normal conditions,
your body gets its energy from the calories in carbohydrates, fats and proteins that need to be slowly digested in the stomach—but not when alcohol is present. When alcohol is consumed, it gets special privileges and needs no digestion. The alcohol molecules diffuse through the stomach wall as soon as they arrive and can reach the brain and liver in minutes. This reaction is slightly slowed when there is also food in your system, but as soon as the mixed contents enter the small intestine, the alcohol grabs first place and is absorbed quickly. The alcohol then arrives at the liver for processing. The liver places all of its attention on the alcohol. Therefore, the carbohydrates (glucose) and dietary fats are just changed into body fat, waiting to be carried away for permanent fat storage in the body.

Alcohol is a diuretic, meaning that it causes water loss and dehydration. Along with this water loss you lose important minerals, such as magnesium, potassium, calcium and zinc. These minerals are vital to the maintenance of fluid balance, chemical reactions, and muscle contraction and relaxation.

Alcohol contains 7 calories per gram and offers NO nutritional value. It only adds empty
calories to your diet. Why not spend your calorie budget on something healthier?

Alcohol affects your body in other negative ways. Drinking might help induce sleep, but the
sleep you get isn't very deep. Ultimately, as a result, you get less rest. Alcohol can also increase the amount of acid that your stomach produces, causing your stomach lining to become inflamed. Over time, excessive alcohol use can lead to serious health problems, including stomach ulcers, liver disease, and heart troubles.

Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, which is detrimental to your diet plans. Alcohol actually
stimulates your appetite. While you might be full from a comparable amount of calories from food, several drinks might not fill you up. On top of that, research shows that if you drink before or during a meal, both your inhibitions and willpower are reduced. In this state, you are more likely to overeat—especially greasy or fried foods—which can add to your waistline. To avoid this, wait to order that drink until you're done with your meal.

Many foods that accompany drinking (peanuts, pretzels, chips) are salty, which can make you
thirsty, encouraging you to drink even more. To avoid overdrinking, sip on a glass of water in
between each alcoholic beverage.

Skipping a meal to save your calories for drinks later is a bad idea. Many drinkers know they'll be having some alcohol later, whether going to a bar, party, or just kicking back at home. Knowing that drinking entails extra calories, it may be tempting to "bank" some calories by skipping a meal or two. This is a bad move. If you come to the bar hungry, you are even more likely to munch on the snacks, and drinking on an empty stomach enhances the negative effects of alcohol. If you're planning on drinking later, eat a healthy meal first. You'll feel fuller, which will stop you from overdrinking. If you are worried about a looming night out with friends, include an extra 30 minutes of exercise to balance your calories—instead of skipping a meal.

What are more important, calories or carbs? You might think that drinking liquor is more diet friendly because it has no carbohydrates, while both wine and beer do contain carbs. But dieters need to watch calories, and liquor only has a few calories less than beer or wine. Plus, it is often mixed with other drinks, adding even more empty calories. Hard liquor contains around 100 calories per shot, so adding a mixer increases calories even more. If you are going to mix liquor with anything, opt for a diet or club soda, instead of fruit juice or regular soda. Sweeter drinks, whether liquor or wine, tend to have more sugar, and therefore more calories. In that respect, dry wines usually have fewer calories than sweet wines.

The list below breaks down the number of calories in typical alcoholic drinks. Compare some
of your favorites to make a good choice next time you decide to indulge in a serving of alcohol.

Drink Serving Size Calories

Red wine 5 oz. 100
White wine 5 oz. 100
Champagne 5 oz. 130
Light beer 12 oz. 105
Regular beer 12 oz. 140
Dark beer 12 oz. 170
Cosmopolitan 3 oz. 165
Martini 3 oz. 205
Long Island iced tea 8 oz. 400
Gin & Tonic 8 oz. 175
Rum & Soda 8 oz. 180
Margarita 8 oz. 200
Whiskey Sour 4 oz. 200

Turkey!

We were driving on the road that borders our house (we live on a corner) and this guy was just sauntering across the road and into the ravine behind our house. He's huge! His feather colors don't show up as colorfully here as they were on him -- if it's a him, I guess it could be a her. Here's another shot, cropped more closely.

 

Isn't he (or she) cool? 

We often hear them in the morning gobbling in the ravine but don't often see them, especially this close up. Our car was probably 50 feet from him.

Here it comes

The school year is just about over and John's days of school bus driving are virtually done until September. That's a great thing and he deserves a summer of relaxation and not getting up at 5 frickin o'clock in the morning every day. He has some great kids on his bus runs but the truth is he gets pretty tired of their constant noise, obnoxious behavior and hassles by this time of the year. A few weeks off is a welcome relief for him. And for me too.

But what John's summer schedule does do is shake up my routine completely. I'm used to the school year structure and having Johnnie home suddenly takes some getting used to. He wants to sleep later (as do I) but I don't like sleeping too late, especially if I have paying work to do or granddaughters and daughter on my schedule.

John and I share the office space with our two computers roughly 10 feet apart. Most of the year my office mates -- a 13 year old black Lab mix who snores and a 2 year old chocolate Lab -- are pretty quiet and sleep most of the day between potty breaks and bugging me about treats and dinner. It's usually quiet up here all day long.

John, on the other hand, tends to be fairly noisy and disruptive in the office, completely unwittingly. He comments on things he sees on his computer or says "huh," close to a million times a day, inviting a "what's huh?" response and interrupting my concentration. He rolls his chair vigorously across the rug, making a loud rumbling sound. He somehow slaps his wrist on the desk surface, about five times a minute it seems, which makes me jump, especially if I'm focused on writing.Or he'll think of a song he wants and then sample several versions on iTunes until he gets the right one. Without headphones.

Needless to say, these are all really petty things but it's a dramatic change from my school year schedule when my days are my own from 6:30 am to 4:45 pm. And quiet.

Apparently I need structure in my days so I'll find ways to get things done and work around his few and well-deserved weeks of vacation. I typically set an alarm and get up around 7 or so if I have work to do so that I can get most of it done before he wakes up. I have a set of noise canceling headphones and my beloved orange ear plugs and I'm not afraid to use them both at the same time when we're in the office together.

But I can see it coming after next week and I need to get ready.

I have succumbed

While I'm feminine in my own way, I'm not a frilly, girly girl kind of ... um girl. Most of my clothes are relatively tailored and in lots of solid colors rather than prints and ruffles*. I typically have one purse, black or brown, that's an all-purpose sort of thing. Leather, big flap over the top, pocket to stuff things in in the back, nice. When I wear one out, I go find another and begin to beat that one up too. Year round.

Erin was infected by the Vera Bradley bug a couple years ago when her friend Courtney introduced her to Vera Bradley purses and catchalls. I've tried to like Vera Bradley bags and the patterns are definitely fun but they just have never been me.

Until now. I have succumbed.

Erin and I were shopping a few weeks ago, splitting a gift certificate I had received to a local store that carries all kinds of whimsical girly things including Vera Bradley bags. She bought a new Vera purse and I sensibly (?) decided on a new decorative flag for the backyard. As I was waiting for her to decide which purse she liked best, I saw the cutest purse and promptly fell in love. It was a Vera Bradley Cha Cha bag in Make Me Blush.

Since we're drastically cutting back on unnecessary expenditures, I went home and began plotting on how to afford the bag. I washed the dog (saved $35). I collected cans and coins when Bridget and I go walking ($ who knows but not much). We're eating out far less often. I started watching auctions on eBay and discovered that these purses are out there.

Within a day I had Johnnie saying, "Just buy the dang purse." Who knew it would be so easy?

So I bid on an eBay auction last week. In fact, I bid on two auctions last week, one for the purse above and another for my second choice Cha Cha bag in Loves Me.

I even asked Erin for guidance on how to bid so that I would do it correctly, having never participated in a hotly contested auction and definitely wanting to win the purse this time around. She counseled me. I put my maximum bid in on both bags, just to hedge my bet. You can guess what happened. I won both bags. What a dummy. The good news: I didn't pay retail ($58) for either one of them. So in a very true sense, I won anyway. Even though I have one too many bags.

They arrived today. My plan is to quickly sell my also-ran bag on eBay. And maybe recoup what I paid for being a novice eBay buyer. Sigh.

*I do love polka dots because they inexplicably make me happy. Even when I'm not thinking about them, I'll be drawn to a fabric or item with polka dots on it. Just make me happy for some reason. Dunno.

Anybody want a purse?

A black fly

in my Chardonnay. Alanis Morissette pegged this one. Ew.

We were relaxing in the shadowy, dimly-lit family room, watching a movie last night after dinner. We had noticed a fly buzzing around the room as we ate dinner and I made a mental note to get our tennis racket fly swatters* afterwards so we could get rid of him.

We poured a glass of Chardonnay and sat back to relax. I got our tennis racket fly swatters from the garage and we settled down. At one point, I saw the fly land on the coaster next to my wine glass but I couldn't get the racket near enough without it flying away. I kept my racket in hand, ever vigilant or so I thought.

A couple more sips of wine. Then, as I swallowed another sip, I happened to glance down into my glass. And there it was: the fly, floating in my wine. I made some kind of strangling noise and thrust the glass at Johnnie. He took it, emptied it and washed it out, bringing me a fresh glass of wine.

But uck, I swallowed wine that the fly was floating in. I don't think the fly touched my lip but I'm not really sure. In any event it's just gross.

What diseases do flies carry anyway? I checked with Dr. Google and it isn't savory at all. I hope that the combination of alcohol and stomach acid eradicates whatever that fly may have been carrying.

*These fly swatters are the greatest and relatively inexpensive. Such a satisfying zing when you zap a bug. If you decide to get them, buy two since the target bug always seems to be near the person without the fly swatter and you're attempting to trade it back and forth to attack the flying thing and probably missing it in the meantime.