Johnnie is missing
Missing Poseable Figure Report
Last seen: several weeks ago when we dismantled the family room and living room for painting and new carpeting.
Description: Gumby-like, orange, yellow and green with a photograph for a face, 6.25 inches tall
Suspects: Emily (almost four) and/or Lucy (almost two). Might be found in said suspects' toy box or in any container anywhere between our house and theirs.
If you have information or find him, please return to Bama Cheryl as soon as possible.
Conversation with Lucy
Last Saturday morning I arrived at Erin and Mike's to pick up Lucy for The Little Gym class we take. Although Lucy doesn't yet talk intelligibly much, she makes her wishes well known.
Mike, holding Lucy: Give Daddy a kiss cuz you're going with Grandma to play!
Lucy, wiggling and pulling back from me: NOOOOOooooooooo!
Me: C'mon Lucy, we'll have fun!
Mike hands Lucy to me as we get to the back door.
Lucy, crying as though we've removed her arms without anesthetic: NOOOOOOOoooooooooo!
Continues crying as we walk to the car and she's strapped into her seat.
I put her milk sippee cup and Monkey within arm's reach. They are both flung to the floor with heated contempt.
As we drive away, the wailing continues then starts to abate somewhat at the two mile mark.
I adjust the rear view mirror so I can see Lucy.
Me, smiling and waving in the rear view mirror: Hi Lucy!
Lucy fixes me with her special brand of crusty and squinches her eyes shut as a solitary tear slips down her cheek. Clearly I am the devil and by not looking at me she can escape my evil spell.
By the time we reach the Thruway, about four miles, she has unsquinched her eyes, found her milk cup and is drinking calmly. By the time we get to The Little Gym (TLG), she's smiling and all is forgotten.
Shortly afterwards, waiting for our class to start at TLG, Lucy is playing around me as I was sitting and watching the kids in the previous class.
Me: Do you want to dance?
Me: Do you want to jump?
Me: Do you want to sit on my lap?
Me: Do you want to get up on the chair so you can see the kids?
Me: Do you want me to stop asking you so many questions?
Lucy, looking satisfied that I finally said something right: Eh (which means yes).
Conversation with Emily
We were in the back lobby of church on Saturday evening, waiting for Mass to let out. I was selling tickets to a doll tea party benefit for a charity I volunteer for. I asked Erin to bring the girls over in cute little dresses to act as decoys to get people to stop and buy tickets. Yes, I'm not above using our granddaughters. And I'm OK with that. Erin and Lucy had departed hastily after several spectacular pluking episodes with Lucy as a result of a reaction to Augmentin, leaving Emily with me.
Emily: I'm hungry.
Me: I know, sweetheart but I don't have anything for you.
Emily, wheedling voice: We could look in the kitchen for something to eat.
Me: Well, there's nothing in there that's for us.
Emily, more wheedling and whining: I saw cookies....
Me: I know but they're for someone else, not for us.
Emily: I could have a cookie...
Me, more firmly and exasperated: No, they're someone else's cookies.
Emily: Someone else's? I'm hungry.
Me: Sorry, I don't have anything.
Emily: I could have a lollypop.
Me: I don't have any lollypops* sweetie.
Emily: What kind of a place is this?
Me, working to keep last strands of patience: It's a church, not a restaurant so there's no food you can have.
Emily: Why not?
Me: It just is, that's why.
Emily finally distracted herself by pouring water from one Dixie cup to another until Erin returned to pick us up.
*Emily knows I have a bag of 300 lollypops in my car. Only issue is we drove Erin's car to church and we're now here without any car. Besides, the kid is going to eat dinner within an hour. No nuttin, honey.